Tear Factory

It seems that every post starts this way, but what can I say?

Monday was the start of a new semester and the perfect time to reinvent myself. I am now working so hard, all the time, that I really struggle finding time to do anything else. Working this hard, however, has made me realise how much time I really have, but also how much time I've wasted.

"The way Home is not the way back"

- Colin Wilson

My current Lecturer has taken note of my efforts. That in itself has been enough motivation to keep pushing forward. I am currently drawing daily and enjoying it. Drawing is becoming something I love again, I just need to keep hunting for the way I was meant to draw and not follow someone else's dream. This all sounds cliché, and it is, but I needed direction and I seem to have found it.

Here or some photographs of my experiments for our current project. Will explain more as is takes shape.

Press Hard. Cut Deep. Don't keep it at an angle.

I've learnt a lot about myself today. It's strange how you go through life trying to figure out who you are and where you're supposed to fit in and suddenly, the moment you stop trying, it just fits.

I don't know what 'it' is or how to find it, but I'll probably be out of place again tomorrow. I needed this day, a day of clarity. These past few weeks it felt like I had no goal, no path and no tools. I wanted to sleep and get it all over with. Right now, however, I want to achieve things. I want to be great. I feel like I owe it to myself and my parents to try. This probably makes no sense to anyone but me. That doesn't matter though. In the end, if it matters to me, it will matter to other people.

It's a strange feeling; to fight for your life against yourself. Today, I've won.


I've come to a realisation that art is the embodiment of a person's soul, desires and traits. When I started this blog, I wanted to see a rebirth in the general art world. Little did I know that I actually wanted to find my art. Art that says " 'This is me' and if you don't like it then you can leave". I want to be admired. I don't care how vain that sounds. I want to be remembered and I will be.

In a week or two I'll probably read this and wonder what I was thinking.

I want to start living now.
I'm going to work hard and earn my keep.
Screw anyone that gets in my way.
I want to help people get where I'm going.
Bad influences DO exist.
Get rid of them, they're not worth your confidence.

From The Monologuist

20111113

Studying about violence in photography, futurist photography, Film Noir, French New wave and Nollywood right now for an exam tomorrow. My brain is so saturated from the past week. I have 4 subjects; four very labour intensive subjects. 2 days after handing in my practical exam (1) I wrote my psychology exam (2), VKK 123 (design history) the day after that (3) and I'm writing VKK 121 (film history) tomorrow (4).

I just want to know how it could be possible for me to write all of my subjects in a week. According to the university calendar; there are 2 months allocated for exams. TWO! Why is it then that I have to struggle to get a ton of information into my head in less than 2 days (for VKK anyway) when there is more than enough time to let us (the fine art students) write say...a subject a week?

Oh well, at least most of the stuff is interesting after you start doing your own research about it. The lecturers probably thought it would be funny to give us all the boring notes on these movements. I've actually found most of the notes to be out dated by at least 3 years.

It'll all be done by tomorrow at 10. I just wanted to rant about it.

We're getting our marks for the exam prac on Wednesday. If I passed that, I've passed first year - and that's all that really matters in the end.

I'll post an explanation and photos of my exam project tomorrow after the exam.

Drawing

These are the drawings I've done these past few weeks in order from oldest to newest.

Note: some of these are horrible, be warned

Getting warmed up for figure studies

First figure study

30 second pose studies, I enjoyed these

Drawing of above model

A0 Self portrait, I warned you... Drawing something this
HUGE from a small mirror is horrible, I hated doing it and it shows.

More recently, aka, today

Just did a quick study of my eye, wanted to make sure I knew the shape.

This looks so creepy on my screen...This is supposed to be a self portrait
and I enjoyed doing it. I don't care that it's only a face, I just like it.

Lost

Someone took my picture from the studio. I have no Idea who or where is is. I think it's just too early to say that it's stolen.

Gone.



Oh, well. Here's a nice song for you:

Rooibos & Honey

Tea break!

Wolfgang is watching you...

Black!

I'm in a good mood today, must be combo of not being able to go to University (transport issues), so sleeping late, walking around without pants, good music, a awesome date - 20110927 is a beautiful number - and being carefree for some odd reason...

Title makes sense now?